Running in new heels.

"Another Sunrise, Another New Beginning."

 Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Tomorrow is my move out day. I am lying on the bed with Papi's head on my knees, he looks a bit sad as if he know that everything is about to change for us. I have laptop in my lap and tasteless oatmeal are cooling off on my nightstand, I ran out of sugar and who buys brand new pack of sugar a day before moving out of the apartment. In the background there is an old episode of Sex & the City on TV, the one where Carrie is breaking up with Aidane because she is not ready to get married.

I didn't have a feeling of moving out until I started taking of the pictures of the walls, looking at the empty walls made me realize that I am actually leaving this place. Without my New York street art photos and my friends and boyfriend photos this place turned from being a home to just some apartment I am moving out of.

For the last couple of days my friends have been calling me to make sure we still see each other at least for a coffee before I leave, they were asking me mostly the same couple of question in regards to my move to a new country: “How did I decide to take such a big step?”, “Am I scared?” and “How do I feel about it?”

In order to please their sincere curiosity and excitement of my girls I tried to tell them about as many technical details of my move while I was at the same time repeating their questions in my head, unsure myself of what to respond. The only word that was coming to my mind was – ready. I feel ready.

I am really not worried about not being able to adapt and function in a new environment, I feel like I graduated with various survival techniques while I was studying, working and living in NYC where nobody really cares to much about how you feel....so...“since I made it here I can make it anywhere.“

Do you know that feeling when after a long night of clubbing in high heels and tight dress somewhere around 4-5 am in the morning you step into a cab or car and you take of these shoes and wiggle your toes a bit, what a great feeling right? But once the car stops you need to put those same shoes back on to walk up to the apartment and now they are to tight for your swollen feet and then it hurts, it hurts a whole lot.

This is how I feel now, I feel like it's time for me to move on, it was fun, but these shoes have become to tight. It's now time for me to get a new pair, maybe with higher thinner heel. I am sure that at the very beginning they might hurt a bit, I may have to learn to balance in them, but I am sure that soon, I will learn how to run in my new heels.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

Ralph Waldo Emerson